The key to private matching for adoption is to tell everyone that you can about your plans to adopt, in hopes that they will connect you with an expectant mother that is planning to create an adoption plan or pass your news along to someone who will. Because adoption is a personal and often emotional journey, announcing your plans can be intimidating. Whether you decide to present this news in person or turn to social media, here are some tips to help you make an adoption announcement.
1. Make a list of the key people in your life – My husband and I made a list like this when we were first starting our adoption journey. We classified our “key people” as those that we wanted to hear about our plans in person. This basically included our parents, siblings, grandparents, and close friends. Luck for us, we decided we wanted to pursue adoption in early December of 2021, so we had plenty of options to announce our plans at Christmas and New Years parties and reach all our key people within a week or so.
2. Create your social media page(s) – While not essential for announcing your plans to adopt, I do recommend creating a social media page specifically for your adoption journey if you are trying to private match. Since we had just told the last of our key people on New Years Eve, we started our pages on January 1st. We had not started our home study or met with an attorney yet, but we had appointments set up to get those things done. We wanted to get started spreading the news as soon as possible, knowing it was likely to take a while. The order in which you do these things is completely relative to your family preferences. Oftentimes people wait until after they are home study approved to ensure everything goes through properly. It is completely up to you! I do recommend that once you create your page, you have some sort of schedule set up for posting on it that you can commit to. We had great luck posting every day, but if that does not fit your schedule, just know that being consistent is the most important.
3. Fill out the about or bio section of your page(s) and add photos – If you are creating a Facebook page, I recommend adding a profile photo, cover photos, and if you have time, adding an album or two. Our son’s bio mom said she loved seeing all of the photos of us on our page. I never recommend posting without a photo, video, or graphic on Facebook (it helps your content travel in the algorithm) so adding some from the start is a great way to build a foundation.
If you are creating an Instagram, it might not hurt to create the page and make it private and then post for a few days or weeks before you are ready to announce. Or just post a few posts the first few days with several pictures on each. Getting a library of pictures built up gives a potential expectant mom and any others a chance to get to know you better and increases the likelihood they will follow you. Be sure to have a great profile photo as well!
4. Create a brief write-up – Write a caption that summarizes who you are, that you are planning to adopt, and how people can help you (shares, prayers, encouragement, etc.), then find a good photo (or a few) to go with it. This is where you can get creative (it helps to make yourself stand out) with how you present who you are. One idea I really love is getting shirts with phrases about adoption on them and taking fun photos in them to post. Here is a photo we took with shirts my mom made:
And here is a link to my Etsy shop where you can find other shirts you may like.
The opportunities for how you present yourself here are endless but just ensure that you are showing your most authentic self. So many hopeful adoptive parents worry about not being chosen for one reason or another when, in reality, expectant moms choose families for all kinds of reasons.
5. Post & Share – Once you write your caption, choose your photos, and make your announcement post, be sure to share it on your personal profile and invite your friends to follow your adoption page to keep up with your journey. This is a nerve-wracking step but it can also be so fun and exciting to see how receptive the people in your life are to your journey!
Now that you are live with your social media account for matching, you can take a little step toward growing your family every day by making posts. Need ideas for what to post? I have you covered! You will also find opportunities to share your story via word of mouth more and more. It can be scary but in general, people will be supportive. If you have more questions about private matching for adoption or how to overcome your fear of announcing your adoption, reach out to me on Instagram @TheHelpfulHAP. Happy matching!
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