Private adoption can be stressful but there are several steps you can take to mitigate the stress and fully enjoy the journey! Read on to learn what they are and shoot me a message with other tips you may have!
Stay organized- It is no secret that adoption comes with a ton of paperwork and various contacts and contracts. It’s important to keep everything organized and in today’s world, that includes digital as well. What worked really well for us was to have a folder where we saved all hard copies of important, adoption-related documents, receipts for tax purposes, and any notes we took on the process. We then started a shared folder where both my husband and I could file any digital documents and receipts related to our adoption. Google Drive or Dropbox are fantastic options for this. Not only did this help when we needed to reference something for our adoption by giving us only 2 places to look for anything needed, but it also gave us the piece of mind that since we were not working with an adoption agency that could keep a file for us, we had a file of our own.
Write out your plan for matching- Self-matching can get overwhelming fast because there are so many ways to match and things to keep up on. Everywhere you look in the adoption world, there are vendors offering profile services (Shout out to Poppy & Rose if you are looking for a profile vendor – Gina is so kind and would be great to work with!), matching sites, multiple Facebook groups, and of course your own social media accounts for matching. (Want to learn more about that? Check out my Instagram @TheHelpfulHAP).
With all of these offerings competing for your attention, it’s no wonder that hopeful adoptive parents can become overloaded with information when trying to self-match. The best advice I can give is to make a list of the self-matching ideas you’d like to try and prioritize for what you think is best suited to your lifestyle. If you prefer to dive in head first and really be involved in the process, I recommend creating and managing your own social media pages. If you don’t have as much time for that and want other people doing the work to get your profile seen, private matching sites might be a better route. Whatever you decide, ensure that it does a good job of representing your family! As you progress on your journey, work your way down the list of matching ideas and continue trying new things until you find what’s working. Keeping your ideas in a list is a great way to stay organized and escape some of the stress that comes with the adoption-matching process.
Schedule reviews- In addition to listing out your methods for matching, schedule bi-monthly or quarterly reviews of your adoption journey and matching efforts. Ask yourself things like what you've spent the most time doing, how many potential expectant mothers have reached out, what, if anything, is draining your energy from the process and how can you combat that. By taking the time to analyze what you’ve done and how it has progressed your journey, you will be able to optimize where you are putting your efforts and how much progress you are making!
Stick to your norms- Adoption is a big, life-changing decision and process; it is expected that it would be accompanied by some stress. Keeping as many parts of your life as normal as you can is a great way to mitigate that stress. For example, you may be spending some extra time each week planning and posting content to your self-matching social media pages, but it is important to ensure you are not letting that overrule family time and other key things that make you who you are. Create a schedule and carve out time to do adoption-related activities, but ensure you save time for your normal activities as well. Keeping this semblance of normality to your home and routine will help eliminate stress, especially if you have children already in your family.
Adoption can certainly be a long and stressful journey but by taking steps to reduce the stress, as well as practicing self-care and other stress-relieving techniques, you can eliminate some strain from the process and experience the true joy that comes with the process of growing your family.
Have a private adoption story to share? Reach out to me at TheHelpfulHAP@gmail.com to let me know about it!
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